I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
two words...techno handjob
If you don't remember anything tomorrow, this is to remind you that you asked me in secret to build a bobsled with you and re-enact Cool Runnings.
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
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