just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
Omphalophobia is a real thing. don't ever fucking touch my belly button again dude
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
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