Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(509): View more from Washington

i just caught my roommate coming out of the bathroom half naked with a surge protector. he told me he didn't wanna talk about it.

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(509): i just caught my roommate coming out of the bathroom half naked with a surge protector. he told me he didn't wanna talk about it. http://tfl.nu/yjzk

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(480): View more from Arizona

I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.

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(480): I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i. http://tfl.nu/z1bk

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(301): View more from Maryland

we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing

(1-301): View more from Maryland

that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome

(301): View more from Maryland

we agree. completely

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(301): we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing (1-301): that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome (301): we agree. completely http://tfl.nu/eynh

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(412): View more from Pennsylvania

He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.

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(412): He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower. http://tfl.nu/q9b8

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(201): View more from New Jersey

why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall

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(201): why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall http://tfl.nu/krc7

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(623): View more from Arizona

His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?

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(623): His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me? http://tfl.nu/w4b8

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(865): View more from Tennessee

His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...

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(865): His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation... http://tfl.nu/uas5

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(732): View more from New Jersey

four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.

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(732): four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day. http://tfl.nu/q3s7

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(919): View more from North Carolina

are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?

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(919): are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet? http://tfl.nu/54if

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(456): View more from

Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here

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(456): Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here http://tfl.nu/rved

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(415): View more from California

I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week

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(415): I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week http://tfl.nu/hrh1

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(574): View more from Indiana

It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me

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(574): It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me http://tfl.nu/pd5w

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(847): View more from Illinois

This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good

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(847): This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good http://tfl.nu/2hdv

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(919): View more from North Carolina

I had phone sex with a retiree last night. This is not how I envisioned my 20s going...

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(919): I had phone sex with a retiree last night. This is not how I envisioned my 20s going... http://tfl.nu/t999

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(775): View more from Nevada

Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....

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(775): Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW.... http://tfl.nu/zpmo

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