I just walked by a homeless man reading the money section of USA Today...
I just remembered I gave a homeless man a ride to his bridge last night.
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
Here’s Everything Coming To Netflix This July
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
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I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard