remember when you found twisted pleasure condoms in my parents bathroom? theyre gone.
At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
25 Porn Addicts Admit Their Biggest Pet Peeves
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
Boys can't fool me. I know "want to come up and meet my dogs?" is just a nondirect way of saying "come up and meet my penis".
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
These 23 People Walked In On Someone And Saw Some Crazy Sh*t
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
So my mom wants me to come swim with dolphins with my little sisters in October. I'm not sure how to tell her I saw a "when dolphins attack" special when I was rolling and am now terrified of them.
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.