The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
25 Of The Most Cringeworthy Internet Stalking Fails
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
21 People Who Barely Escaped Death
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
I'm like an air traffic controller of women. It's a very similar job. Well spaced and gentle landings are good. When they meet, it's bad. Explosions bad. Dying screaming burning children bad.
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night