dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
Just walked out of 7 11 still in uniform when 4 girls in bikinis in a convertable screamed "we fuck firefighters!"
Career choice validated
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
She posted a pic of her bf on ig wishing him a happy bday at midnight. She then proceeded to have sex with me. Who is the bday boy again?
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
Randomize