i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
Found my other fake eyelash. In a condom wrapper...
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
Randomize
