Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
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I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
I tried to discuss modern art with a cab driver after explaining that I only had one shoe on b/c a pitbull ate the other one. Wtf. Call me when you can.
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
Hello my rib-scented angel!
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