Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
The waitress asked if you wanted white or brown, and you said "Isn't it all the same color when it's toasted?". She stared at you for about 20 seconds before she decided that you weren't fucking with her.
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
"can you come pick me up from the ikea parking garage i think i slept here"
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
Randomize
