Where is the hickey?
Please forgive me. I will pay for your emergency room visit.
i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
That's totally the Emoji for "just ran into some girl who knows I know she had an abortion"
Alls I wanted was a fun New Years but I end up fingering a geico sales representative on a futon and giving her a ride to work the next morning
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
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