I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
tod's in jail
he was afraid of holiday checkpoints so we let him ride my mom's tandem bike home. by himself. at 4 am.
I think I deserve the nobel peace prize for discovering that one should smoke before drinking instead of drinking before smoking.
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
The bouncer was kicking me out and I put up my finger for him to wait while I chugged the rest of my drink..all he could say is "are you serious right now?"
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
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