yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He left his umbrella behind in my bed to 'keep me company', then stole my front door key before he went to work
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
It's hard to hold down the snapchat button for video while thrusting. Sorry if the cinematography wasn't Oscar-worthy.
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
Do you remember me asking for jerk off videos from Tinder guy?
Nah I don't remember that being part of the criteria
I'm gonna be late for work because i decided to masturbate and forgot to put my clothes in the dryer
Randomize