if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
There's this guy beside me dancing with this girl with no panties on. When I looked at him he said he's babysitting his bestfriend's girlfriend since he can't come out.
What a good friend
Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
I keep getting texted pictures of my husband with other men. I can't figure out if he wants a divorce or a threesome?
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why did I wake up to a snap chat of myself drinking beer out of a blender?
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
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