Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
update: the house isnt on fire anymore, but he is still pissing on all your stuff.
the house was on fire??
shit I thought I told you.
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed.
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
I got a text saying, "It's so great to throw tomatoes at seagulls."
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
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