he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
Woke up in an unfamiliar basement in a sleeping bag with Matt to a police officer shining his flashlight in my eyes and asking me my birth date and social security number. My morning went swimmingly.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
Well the nurse forgot to take all my stitches out, so my surgical tools are peroxide, kitchen scissors, fingernail clippers, a pocket knife, and 11 beers. Let's do this...
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
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