How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
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He called me a "functional alcoholic" like its a bad thing.
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
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