Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
At the ER. John needs stiches. Fuck pub trivia nights.
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
Randomize
