Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
I lost my phone so I put sticky notes all over my roommates body asking her to wake me up at 7:00 AM.
Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
I'm on a treadmill at the gym ordering pizza on my phone so it'll get to my house around the time I get home. I NEED HELP. Or I'm a genius. I haven't decided.
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
I butt dialed her mom while cheating on her. Needless to say Christmas will be awkward.
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
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