Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
Why are you speaking in third person?
Because I'm so hungover that I don't even want to be myself anymore.
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
Randomize
