oh vodka. i could write you a sonnet.
someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
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Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
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I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
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