Will you blow on my dice?
you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
Mom just posted ur drunk pix from Cancun in the newly made "My not-so-fantastic son" album. Thought you should know.
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
YOU WOULD BE SEEING ME. IN MY KITCHEN. BENDING OVER MY OVEN. MAKING YOU CAKE.
Wait, that's an option?
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
Randomize
