I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
But being sober is boring. Everything takes so long, I feel like I'm just waiting in line to die.
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
Randomize