Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
I'm driving to work with an ice pack on my vagina. how was your weekend?
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
Randomize
