$35 all you can drink last night. Friend 1 woke up in a hotel lounge, friend 2 pissed himself and woke up wearing friend 1's spare pants, and my toilet indicates I threw up extensively.
you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
Fuck you. I've got onesies to keep me warm at night. And this bottle.
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
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