giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
There's glitter in my speakers, piles of cheezits on the floor, a random Audi in the driveway and a homeless dude napping in a lawn chair in the backyard. Wtf happened last night?
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
THIS IS WHAT CELL PHONES ARE FOR! So you can tell me that you're bringing your coworker who lives in the "Halleleuia community" home for a beer SO I'M NOT DRESSED IN LEATHER LINGERIE WHEN HE WALKS IN THE FUCKING DOOR!!
Randomize
