pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
This girl wants me to lick her pits
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
These 23 People Had The Most Insane Spring Breaks Ever
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
I found your pet lobster in the bathroom this morning. I went to return it to you but it escaped.
25 Women On How They Let Their Oblivious Partners Know They Want To Bone
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
I have "if found please return to" written in sharpie on my arm, my uterus is rejecting everything, and I have hickies. I must actually be an 18 year old piece of shit girl instead of a responsible 23 year old