god i wish i could take a shit and a shower at the same time
you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
I just found a dead bug in my nose. if that's the worst thing up there im considdering myself lucky.
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
25 Of The Most Cringeworthy Internet Stalking Fails
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
21 People Who Barely Escaped Death
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough