grinding to god bless the USA? really?
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
In your drunken brilliance did you make bagel with what appears to be mac and cheese smeared on top and pink icing dip? Because if so it is sitting on the counter
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way