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I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
just woke up in my neighbors garage.
scratch that. I'm like 6 miles from my house in a random garage.
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
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