At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
You coming home soon, man?
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me