he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
You told him your wedding ring was part of your costume. not okay!!
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
These 23 People Walked In On Someone And Saw Some Crazy Sh*t
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
Sign she's a keeper: "I would rather be late to brunch than waste a perfectly good boner."
Confessions From 23 People Who Have Been Hiding Terrible Secrets
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself