She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
Nothing says happy baby shower like showing up still kinda drunk from last night with an open tall boy in one hand and fries in the other.
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
Randomize
