How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
I just typed 14 shots of Smirnoff into my calorie count toolbar. Then typed pole dancing 1.5hrs into the calorie burner search. Should break even.
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
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