Can't imagine what could be worse than pet-naming your penis, but I'll let it go.
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
I woke up to the smell of shame and vomit in my hair... went to the bathroom to shower and passed out... woke back up naked with the blow dryer on... thanks for making my birthday a success
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