is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
These eggs taste like chocolate chip cookies. This is the best hangover ever.
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
Don't try to dry clothes in the microwave. They'll catch on fire.
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
I woke up on the dog bed, bottle of alcohol still in hand and my thong was hanging off the family portrait.... Yikes
For future reference, when he drunkenly screams "YOUR MOTHER SUCKS COCKS IN HELL," he means that he's about to throw up. Invest in a bucket.
Randomize
