the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
Sign she's a keeper: "I would rather be late to brunch than waste a perfectly good boner."
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
I'm pretty sure the guy who was grinding on me while I was trying to get a drink at he bar was one of my tinder matches
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
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