I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
My one night stand asked me out to dinner. When he came to pick me up I got in the back seat. I thought he sent an uber. Awkward.
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
Randomize
