Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
I wish I could tell you that the worst thing that happened last night was how he got thrown out of a stripclub for vomitting on the girl giving him a private lapdance. I wish I could tell you that and not be lying.
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
This is my transition from small talk texts to booty call texts. Coming over?
Quite the smooth talker. There in 5.
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night