all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
These 29 Nasty People Went To The Bathroom In Public
We just filmed our own version of iron chef. The secret ingreient was whisky.
What did you cook with whisky?
We started a fire.
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
19 People Who Had An Inappropriate Celebrity Encounter
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
I just hip-checked Santa and stole his cab.
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.