I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
I like that most of our conversations somehow end in us having sex for the good of our country
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
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