it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
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just woke up in my car, in front of the bar. Took me 10 minutes to find my keys which were about 10 yards away in a bush. According to my phone records, I called my ex 14 times last night. Breakfast?
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
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Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
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