maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
Don't forget Giraffe in your car! If we show up in the same outfit without animal heads we're just gonna look weird.
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
Randomize
