so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
are you just going to ignore any texts involving my penis from now on? because thats going to shut down a pretty sizeable portion of our conversations.
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
"Don't get as drunk as I was on my birthday" has been upgraded from a goal for Friday night to a goal for my life in general.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
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