Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
He sent me a 2am email the just said "Ping". Nerdiest booty call ever.
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
Randomize