508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
I'm gonna have to start putting baby wipes and a change of pants in my bag. The amount of times I'm scared of shitting my pants in public is too high and I need the reassurance
Randomize
