Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
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He called me from prison intake to wish me luck on my job interview. Somehow that's the most romantic thing that's ever happened to me.
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
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If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
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