we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
Randomize
