Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
I feel like I have African malaria. I just remembered singing Teenage Dream in full to that biker couple at the bar.
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
so on a scale from morning glass of wine to that time i burnt the garage down how drunk were you last night
About 'lets tie a boat to a truck and ride it down the freeway'
Randomize
