in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
You’re sleeping on my couch so you’re not making dick appointments tonight
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
Randomize
