His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
Went to an open-bar law school party and puked in front of Justice Scalia. My legal career is now complete -- I literally got judged by a U.S. Supreme Court Justice. Can't get any higher than that.
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
Randomize
