Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
My mom assumed I was crying because he was leaving. Figured that was better than explaining my eye's sensitivity to semen..
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
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