8th day he invented the big mac, 9th he invented pop rocks, 10th day boobs.
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
Randomize