Ever have the mailman look at you like youre a chronic masterbator. I have.
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
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I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
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i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
The worst thing about buying this extremely comfortable bed is that once I get a girl into it, all she wants to do is sleep. I want my fucking money back.
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
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