Dude I can't believe you let me go home with the wildabeast lastnight.
You always hook up with hot girls we had to know you were mortal
Left my ID again and at a Giant's game. This is the second time they accepted my handgun safety certificate as proof of ID to buy beer.
At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
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