How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
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