Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
The reason halloween exists is because it's not cheating if you're wearing a costume.
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
I'm disproportionately drunk. But I also spelled disproportionately right twice so maybe I'm not that drunk
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
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