This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
News Flash: Turtles are cuter than Jesus.
Congrats on damning at least 10 generations of your offspring to hell with just one text message. Way to start your morning off right.
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
I had to break up with her. She was sending me study schedules and recipes for vegan lasagna. I’m just trying to survive man
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
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