2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
He is an equal opportunity slut.
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
23 Theme Park Employees Confess The Biggest Adult Tantrums They’ve Witnessed
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
Things i learned at work today: do not put mayonaise on a tattoo, it will get infected.
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
You handed J your Mayan-pocalypse shopping list and told him he wasn't getting laid unless he brought everything on it. Where is he supposed to get a live goat?!
23 Crazy Psychological Tricks You Have To Try on Someone RIGHT NOW
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
I called my mom while I was blackout drunk, and told her I was drunk, safe, and happy. But really, I was just drunk.
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.