Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
21 Of The Most Impressive Things Ever Seen In Porn
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
19 Parents Had Epic Reactions When Catching Their Kids Being “Bad”
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
My liver is preforming stress tests.
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do