"I want to just tie you up so you\'ll still be here like this when I get home." Actual words.
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
He brought a girl home so fat he called me before they got home to unlock the right side of the French doors
Fuck he won the bet
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
Everytime I get drunk I wake up hugging the bag of bagels from three months ago
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
Randomize
